Why can’t our children
communicate?
Japanese nonverbal
communication is based on the two theories: Amae and Honne/Tatemae
Amae:
In the story:
If no drinks were offered:
- The host would be to blame because
he/she
cannot recognize the desire of the
guest.
-
The guest is
expected to depend on the good will of the guest = amae
No English equivalent of the word of amae.
·
Dependency
·
Nonverbal
dependence on the good will of another
·
Desire for
oneness with others
The psychological prototype of amae
-In the relationship between mothers
and infants.
-Rooted in the denial of an infant’s
pain of
separation from his/her mother.
-Seek the mother and feel strong love
and
attachment (first experience of
amae).
According to Doi:
-amae extends beyond the infant-mother
relationship.
-
between student
and teacher, patient and
doctor, and boss and employee.
-
expected to be
shared mutually in order to
maintain smooth interpersonal
relationships.
-
removal of
psychological barriers between
people.
According to Stern:
-at
the age of 15-18 months
infants start learning spoken
communication.
-nonlinguistic communication still
grows
-development of nonlinguistic
communication
is important to develop empathetic
capacity.
-
support for the
concept of amae.
-
Development of
amae depends upon how much infants have received their parents’ responses for
their unspoken wishes.
Japanese child rearing
-
It was criticized
as an overly protective one.
-
Constant close
watch on every little thing the child did.
-
More physical
contacts than verbal contacts.
-
Making it
difficult for children to grow out of the mother-child relationship and achieve
independence from their parents.
Westernization of lifestyles in
-
messages to
contemporary mothers
pursue own self-realization,
self-fulfillment
-
mothers don’t
offer children as much
empathetic treatment as they used to give.
-
many children
grow up
with insufficient abilities for
empathizing
with others.
With unskilled nonlinguistic
communication
Tatemae/Honne
-
Many young people
cannot judge the honne
and tatemae of others.
-
underdeveloped empathetic
ability
clumsy
nonlinguistic communication skills
some
form of social phobia
Problems:
-
At home
-
At school
The
teacher’s report
New
school curriculum
What about the