When the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve this year, some folks feel that most computers will set the date back 100 years and wipe out the entire 20th century, or something like that. The news media are trying their best to spread alarm and confusion about the Year 2000 problem, or Y2K in computer nerd lingo. I usually ignore this sort of claptrap, but two recent experiences make me think that Y2K may become 10 pounds of manure in a 5 pound sack.
I'm the culprit in the first. While working on a research paper about early radio inventors, I decided the narrative was dry as burnt toast and needed a little oomph. Illustrations were the solution. Even eggheads like to look at pictures. So I set out to learn how to use my scanner and laptop computer to integrate images into the document. In a marathon session, I copied the line drawings from the original patents, cropped them, cut out the stuff I didn't need pixel by pixel, resized them, deskewed them, added text, and generally made them presentable. When I finished, I had inserted 5 illustrations, complete with labels and cutlines, into the document. It wasn't exactly National Geographic, but it was an improvement.
Since I had so much fun with this process, I decided to add pictures of the inventors themselves as a personal touch. I went through the entire scan-crop-edit routine again, and ended up with portraits of 5 dour Victorian men. It looked like the label on Smith Brothers Cough Drops. And it only took me 3 days to complete the task. As I was making copies of the paper, it occurred to me that by enlarging and shrinking the pictures on the Xerox machine, and using scissors, Scotch tape, a ruler, and a touch or two of White Out, I could have done the same job in about an hour. But then I couldn't fiddle around with my gadgets.
The next incident happened at a store in Nashville where a few weeks ago I purchased an especially tasty adult beverage from the south of France. I stopped back for another bottle or two. Finding none on display I asked a clerk for help. He said, "I'll check our inventory," and began to do what most folks do at work -- stare at a computer screen and scratch his head. Meanwhile, I noticed a large display of wines from the same vineyard adjacent to the checkout counter. I called this to his attention, but got "Wait a minute. Wait a minute." in reply.
So I investigated the display and found several cases of the variety that I wanted on the second tier. I mentioned this, but he had enlisted the aid of another clerk, and both of them were too engaged in button pushing and mouse wiggling to hear me. I next ascertained that these were sealed cases that appeared to have bottles inside. By now the store manager had joined the computer inventory search. Rather than disturb them further, I opened a case myself, took out few bottles, set them on the counter, and said, "I'll take these." I wonder if they ever found them in the computer.
Technology only works as well as people want it to. So long as we, including yours truly, expect progress and perfection from a computer-controlled environment, and ignore old technology that works just as well, perhaps even better, we lend credence to scenarios like Y2K. When the millennium arrives and the computers shut down, will we use a little common sense? Or will we be like the characters in Woody Allen's Sleeper who are so accustomed to using a machine called the Orgasmitron to have sex that they no longer remember how to switch to manual?