Because most of us learn by doing and I do more and more on the World Wide Web every day, now is a good time to take stock of what I've learned in the process.
I've learned weird spelling. It all starts with web page addresses where it's OK to ignore the rules. Murray State University is murraystate, one word, no spaces, no caps, dot edu. If I want a cheap plane ticket, I go to iflyswa, one word, no spaces, no caps, dot com for Southwest Airlines. For a bargain hotel room, it's accommodationsexpress, one word, no spaces, no caps, dot com. For the news of the day, it's chicago.tribune.com or usatoday, one word, no spaces, no caps, dot com, or weather.com for the forecast in Santo Domingo, San Francisco, or Sandusky. If e.e. cummings were alive today, he'd eschew poetry and write URL's. Pretty soon, I start running words together and dropping capital letters in my E-mail, then in everything I write, and finally I have the literacy level to enter an internet chat room.
I've learned patience. That comes from downloading stuff written by folks who assume that all of us deep in the interior have the same slick, rapid connections and gadgets that they do. So they load every page up with high resolution graphics, audio, and video while providing links for the sources to download free software that allows you to actually use the page. I'm a regular stoic when my screen tells me that I'm now receiving RealAudio, and that the transmission will only take another 47 minutes.
I've learned colorful language. I use it when I return from lunch to discover that after 2 hours and 26 minutes, my computer locked up with the RealAudio download only 92% complete. Actually, I've known these words since the 4th grade, but the situation-specific combinations are quite innovative. And there are more unique expletives on the way. They fly out of my mouth like oatmeal during a Heimlich maneuver when, after two days, I finally download RealAudio, play back the clip I vaguely remember wanting to hear, and it sounds like 10 seconds inside an industrial garbage compactor.
I've learned how to get information on any topic. After all, this is the major selling point of the World Wide Web. I have enough facility with Alta Vista, Lycos, Infoseek, and other search engines. I know where to insert plus signs, minus signs, and quotation marks, and how to ignore anything that claims to be Boolean Operator. That always sounded like a critter from the latest Star Wars flick. I can now confidently conjure up any subject and find several hundred web pages that deal with it. After sorting out hucksters trying to get in my wallet, illiterate essays by high school kids, or pages in Danish or Sanskrit, I'm left with 4 or 5 that are worth my time.
I've learned how to order books. It's the next step to get the information you need from the World Wide Web. Most of the world's knowledge is bound in volumes on the shelves of libraries and bookstores. Despite virtual intelligence, books are still the closest we've come to a permanent, accessible repository of wisdom. And the web makes buying books easy. Not satisfied with the results of your search, or just want to know more about Spode china? Well, click here for a link to Barnes and Noble. That's barnesandnoble, one word, no spaces, no caps, dot com.